


Jaded

by Impetus



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Falling In Love, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Some Fluff, Swearing, shance, shangst, she/her pronouns for pidge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 18:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10927908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impetus/pseuds/Impetus
Summary: Shiro is the leader of Voltron.He is the strength and the calm in the face of the thundering storm of the Galra.Lance is someone Shiro doesn't quite understand.Shiro is someone Lance wants to understand with all of his heart.





	Jaded

**Author's Note:**

> Shiro is hard to write--but I wanted to write him.

At this point of what he considered at least a half-life, Shiro liked to think he was prepared for pretty much anything. Alien abduction and a year’s worth of torture before being immediately thrust into an intergalactic war tended to do that to a person. He supposed he could call himself jaded. Supposed he had the right to be so. Closed off in ice as he led the team and braved the terror of facing his would be killers whenever he became the head of Voltron. Whenever he became defender of the universe. 

So it came as a shock when he finally noticed someone tapping on the frigid surface. When they poked and prodded; waiting impatiently as they tried to rouse him from his self-imposed protective slumber. It had taken a long time. Too long, Shiro realised now. 

It started small. A smile when Shiro happened to look up and catch his gaze. His presence lingering in the background as Shiro bustled around and tried to get his work done. A pick up line that struck afoul with Allura and was tried out on him instead, harmless. Soft words of comfort and curiosity.

“Have you eaten, Shiro?” _He hadn’t._

“Buff and beautiful but so bad at taking care of yourself. I’ve got it taken care of here, go get some sleep.” _He was bad at taking care of himself._

“Hey, I heard some noises and came to check. Are you okay?” _Thank you for coming._

“Shiro, trust me I can handle it! Take Keith! Get out of here!” _No, I don’t want to leave you._

Each one of those moments flitted into his mind and stayed there. Buzzing around as they flew through the cracks of his frozen prison. 

Lance would be okay. He had to be or those cracks would close up again. Seal him away. Build greater defenses once these fell apart.

The shimmering walls lay crumbled at his feet--threatening to rebuild.

***

He’d been looking at a series of coordinates and trying to work out the best course of action to discuss with Coran and Allura. It was frustrating, relearning stars and coordinates he’d been familiar with from the Earth’s surface. He bit his lip and let out a sigh when he heard it.

“Have you eaten, Shiro?” 

“What?” Shiro spun around, taking in Lance’s long lean form, made only more exaggerated by the light shining from the hallway into the dark observatory room. 

“Have you eaten?” Lance repeated, more patiently than Shiro knew Lance could be. Though he supposed that could be because he didn’t know Lance very well. Shiro shook his head. He had enough to focus on. Learning about Lance could wait. 

He caught Lance’s curious gaze, shadowed but open. “Um, no, I haven’t. I’ll grab some food at dinner. What time is it?” Lance cocked his head, arms crossed as he leaned against the doorway. 

“I dunno, past dinner.” If Shiro hadn’t been staring right at Lance, he might have missed it. Might have missed the crease of eyebrows and a lip lodged between teeth. 

“Past dinner?” Shiro asked, trying to ignore the small feeling Lance’s concern inspired in him. After arriving back on Earth, it’d been a breakneck journey. Finding Keith and Katie again. Going far from home at the whims of otherworldly beings. Again. Launching himself into the position of being the Black Paladin. Hiding his guilt from his failure with the Kerberos mission in every order he issued his teammates. 

He was no stranger to looks of worry. Keith who looked so grateful to find him alive and asked desperately where he’d been. Pidge whose faith that her family was still out there was rekindled by the sacrifice of Shiro’s struggle to stay alive. Hunk, who seemed perpetually worried for everyone as he tried to create feelings of domesticity in space. Allura, with her lofty voice and determination to win set alongside her desire to understand the humans who had woken her. Coran, with his wisdom belied by an outrageous mustache and exuberant behaviour, constantly trying to sneak him extra goo. But with Lance it was different.

Shiro couldn’t find any expectation of returning to what had been. No weighted reminders of his failure. No determination to make whatever this was more tolerable. No diplomatic outreach or overcompensation from a basic lack of understanding what he was. All he saw was Lance, nervously shredding his lip as he waited for Shiro to respond. To acknowledge him.

Although, he supposed he’d have to address the fact that it was obvious that Lance didn’t actually expect Shiro to notice him at all, the sheer emptiness of Lance’s expectations brought him to attention. Lance was worried about him. Lance who did not have a history with him. Did not need him for answers. Lance who came to ask if he’d eaten. It took him a moment to realise that Lance was still waiting, having gone from leaning against the doorway to fidgeting and rocking back and forth on his feet.

“I’ll go get some food now,” Shiro said. He shot Lance a smile and smothered the warm feeling in his stomach when Lance lit up and shot him a wink. 

“Aw yeah! Let’s go. Dude, I don’t know what took you so long, since y’know, food goo is always appetizing, but you really gotta eat. But don’t drink what Coran made. It tastes worse than nunville, but get this. It turns your thumbs orange. _Orange_. Look!” Lance stuck out his hands, turning to face the hallway as Shiro walked past him. Indeed Lance’s thumbs were a horrible garish shade of orange.

“Does Coran know how to fix that?” Shiro asked, brow raised. Lance paused, staring at his thumbs before groaning.

“I don’t know.” He dragged his multicolored hands down his face before peeking up at Shiro through his fingers, expression exasperated. “I left to go get you after Pidge started demanding that Hunk and Keith give her some skin samples.”

A hearty laugh bubbled out of Shiro’s throat, echoing up from his stomach and around the corridor. “I’ll make sure not to drink whatever Coran has cooked up.”

He almost missed it this time too. A bright grin stretched across a thin face when Lance trotted a little faster to catch up with him. 

“Honestly, just have me taste test whatever he makes next time. Can’t have our Master Chief running around with orange thumbs or green toes.”

“No we can’t,” Shiro smiled.

He supposed he should’ve noticed then, that Lance was already willing to do what it took to keep him safe. 

A tiny crack.

***

 

Shiro was fully aware of the fact that he tended to do what others called “overworking.” But he had to get this done. He had to make his rounds like he did every night and heaven (if there was one—Shiro wasn’t so sure anymore) forbid that he not make sure every room and hallway in the castle was clear just because of something like _sleep._ He walked through the pristine, low lit hallways. His footsteps were lonely, but rhythmic enough to begin lulling him into complacency.

But he continued. Bold, determined, and yawning. His mind tuning out as he finished with the first wing of his route. He took the next turn a little more clumsily than he would’ve liked when he ran into someone. One indignant noise and days of exhaustion taking him and the other person down onto the ground. As undignified as it was, Shiro found himself much too comfortable laying on top of the person below him despite their bony elbows digging into his ribs. Okay, so maybe Shiro was overworking himself. He began to pull away, more than ready to apologise and gather himself when he heard a chuckle.

“Buff and beautiful but so bad at taking care of yourself. I’ve got it taken care of here, go get some sleep.” Lance smirked up at him, laughing as he took in the rare sight of a disheveled and disoriented Takashi Shirogane. 

Shiro blinked bleerily. “Wah?” the elegant question falling from his lips as he tried to sit himself upright, head bobbing a bit as he fought the desire to sleep right then and there. 

“Go get some sleep. You were doing your rounds right? I’ll take care of it. Just tell me where you’ve gone,” Lance stood, having wormed his way out from underneath Shiro and offered him a hand. Shiro stared at him for a moment from under his lashes, eyes still lidded with the promise of dreams before he reached out and grasped Lance’s hand. Lance laughed again. “Dude I’ve never seen you like this before. The indomitable Garrison pilot Shiro. My Hero, barely able to keep himself upright because he’s so tired. We gotta start scheduling your food and sleep times because otherwise I swear you’d just forget you needed those things.” 

“Your hero?” Shiro parroted, surprise cutting through the heavy fog of stress and drowsiness. 

“Yeah, man,” he said quietly. “You’ve been my hero since I can remember.”

It was spoken sheepishly. Almost like it wasn’t said at all. 

“Now let’s get you to bed—you came from the console room, I’m assuming you checked that wing?”

Shiro nodded. Lance shot him a smile, eyes sparkling in the dim light before they looked away. Shiro wasn’t sure if it had been real or if his dazed mind was just supplying the glitter and panache for him, but Lance was pretty, he realised. Funny when digging himself a hole for laughs, frustrating when he and Keith were doggedly trying to outdo each other, and pretty when he smiled. Shiro didn’t stop the smile of his own lazily forming on his lips. 

“Thank you, Lance.”

“No problem. Now go, off to bed with you!” 

When Shiro settled into bed, he wasn’t preoccupied with the nightmares he’d come to expect. Instead, he began to wonder about if Lance’s eyes actually twinkled like that. Did they really glint in the light that way? Was Shiro just delirious? He shrugged, pulling the blankets tighter. It didn’t matter, he figured.

Lance’s smile and Lance’s eyes would always be there. He could think about it more once he got some rest. 

The crack widened.

***

He hated nights like these. He hated most nights really. Staring at his ceiling, trying to reconcile that it wasn’t a cell. That _this_ sterile alien environment wasn’t _that_ sterile alien environment. He almost laughed at how something so simple was so difficult to grasp. Shiro was no stranger to nightmares or sweat-soaked sheets. The only times he ever seemed to manage a full night of sleep were when he was so exhausted that he had no choice, but tonight was not one of those nights. But on this night, hilariously, he wasn’t even in his bed.

Somehow he’d ended up on the floor. He lifted his head to take in the damage. Limbs tangled in damp blankets and his body feeling entirely too hot and too cold against the smooth flooring. Head coming back to rest with a thud, he let out a sigh before getting to work unraveling himself when he heard a knock. It was hesitant at first, pausing before gaining strength. Shiro waited for a moment longer, weighing his options before calling out.

“Yes?” He was relieved to hear a steady voice. No wavering in his tone. 

The doors hissed open to reveal a fresh-faced Lance. “Hey, I heard some noises and came to check. Are you okay?” He readjusted his robe tie, slippers sliding across the floor as he inched inside, coming just far enough into Shiro’s space to establish a presence there. 

“Yeah, I’m okay. Sorry to wake you,” Shiro replied, managing to wrench one of his arms free before beginning work on the rest of the mess he’d found himself in.

“You need some help?” Lance’s chuckle was cheerful. No bite behind the humor he found in the situation. Shiro hesitated. He wasn’t in a good place to be around someone. His mind was still going a mile a minute and nights like this never boded well. 

“No it’s okay, I can handle it.”

“All due respect, Shiro. But I don’t think you’re getting very far.” Lance’s smirk grew wider as he gestured to the fact that Shiro had somehow managed to wrap himself ever further in the thin blankets. Groaning, Shiro went back to work. A few shuffled footsteps and a hand lay itself on his, demanding his attention. “Please, let me help you.” And finally, after one last mighty effort, Shiro nodded. “Alright! Let’s get to work. I’ll have you out of there in a tick! Or is it tock? Ugh Altean time is so weird,” Lance muttered, pulling at the sheets. 

Their combined efforts had Shiro and Lance heaving by the end. He’d been more tangled than either of them originally thought. 

“Dude, why are Altean blankets so _big._ There’s always a ton dangling off my bed. Like, why? Coran isn’t that big. Allura isn’t that big. They’re nuts!” Lance huffed, irritable and just a little sweaty. He glanced away before looking back, hands winding around the back of his neck. “So uh...can I ask or were we just planning to ignore the fact that I found you wrapped up in blankets on the floor? Cause I can totally do that!” Lance smiled, hands up in an innocent gesture as his eyes searched Shiro’s face. When Shiro didn’t respond, Lance nudged him with his shoulder. “Alright alright, how about I just keep you company then?” 

Company? At a time like this? When he was barely keeping hold on this reality?

“Shiro? I can leave if you want. I just want to make sure you’re okay. You’ve got to relax a little, my dude!” He helped Shiro back onto his bed, distracting the older man with a story about when he fell out of his bunk back at the garrison. “I scared the bejeebers out of Hunk, let me tell you. He started panicking and carried me all the way to the infirmary. Carried me! He’s got huge arms! Like, arms almost as big as yours...maybe bigger? Anyway, I was swooning! Though I’m not sure if that was because I had a concussion.” Lance’s mouth twisted, hand cupping his chin as he tried to remember the event. “Nah, Hunk’s just really really good looking.”

Shiro snorted, Lance’s chatter grounding him. This wasn’t just company. It was Lance. Lance who worried about him. Lance who came to remind him to eat and finished his rounds so he could try to sleep. Lance who was babbling about how Hunk was so strong.

“I get nightmares.” A chunk of ice fell away, warm wind caressing Shiro’s face.

“Oh...Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I--” _No...Maybe…_ “Do you mind if I do?” Shiro asked softly.

“Not at all,” Lance’s tone was light, but Shiro saw the way Lance’s eyes slid over him. Lance was paying attention. More attention than Shiro gave him credit for. “I told you about how I almost died because I fell off a standard issue bunk bed. You’re my hero...I’d...I’d love to learn anything about you. If you’d let me.”

Shiro took in a deep breath, watching as Lance settled in next to him. Gaze curious, but strangely polite. 

“It’s okay, Shiro. Once my little sister told me that she _ate the last cookie._ Can you believe it? The last cookie!” He whispered conspiratorially. “And I didn’t tell anyone.” 

Maybe it was juvenile. It might even have been condescending to hear under normal circumstances. But instead, it made Shiro laugh. And he didn’t stop. “That last cookie?” He asked, chuckles laced with incredulity.

“I’m trying to help here!” Lance hissed, as Shiro doubled over. He couldn’t help it, the giggles bubbling up from inside him and pouring out of him like an overflowing well. “I’m being serious! Shiro, c’mon man!” Lance pouted. 

“I can’t believe that after all these years, you told me about the great cookie heist,” Shiro grinned. Lance’s face lit up.

“Well, I think that cookie law enforcement no longer has rights to bring you to court once the cookies have been restocked,” Lance said seriously. His voice dropped, eyes flickering between his hands and Shiro’s face. “But really, Shiro...If you want to talk...Please. Let me help you.”

Shiro inhaled, feeling the weight of the air in his lungs before dredging up the courage to confess his cowardice. “I’m scared.” He could almost see the words lingering in the air. See them plummeting downward in a crude imitation of a pin dropping.

A crude imitation of Lance’s faith in him falling from the sky and crashing to the ground. Shiro’s lips pulled back, tight against his cheeks. He felt it first, unable to quite figure out what the feeling was. Lance’s hand cupped his chin, thumb rubbing out the uncomfortable seam stitched across his face.

“Shiro,” Lance whispered. Pausing, as if trying to find words. Shiro let the way Lance said his name settle around him, blanketing him in an unexpected tenderness. In affection. With quiet acknowledgement. 

Everything he craved. Everything he didn’t deserve. His hand twitched, the feel of it _still other_ as the circuitry surged intent into movement. 

“Hey.” Shiro heard Lance. Heard him speak as if the words were moving through a wall. Muffled. Stolen from him as they desperately tried to push through the ice when suddenly he felt something weaving between his fingers, sound coming back into startling clarity as his eyes darted down to where Lance had begun to lace their hands together. “It’s okay to be scared.” 

“What?” Shiro murmured, voice small. He shook his head--already feeling regret. “Lance, I appreciate the effort, but I really can’t afford to show weakness. This will pass, it’s fine.” He tried to pull away, gaze fixed on the rustled bedsheets. At first, it didn’t quite register that Lance still had a grip on his hand. 

Shiro tried again, hand tugging as he finally made eye contact with the blue paladin. It was uncomfortable, looking into Lance’s eyes. Uncomfortable feeling as if he was being pinned down. Part of him wanted to liken it to being evaluated by Haggar. Another part of him felt it like the eyes of the stadium goers he was meant to entertain. 

But a greater part of him; the long suffering part of him that shed its skin at night welcomed the attention. “Why won’t you let us support you?” Lance asked. “We are your body--your arms and your legs. You bring us together, but we hold each other up. We hold you up.” Shiro felt it more than saw it, as everything seemed to happen with Lance. Felt Lance bring his hand up, felt soft lips press against his palm. “You are more than just our leader. Shiro, it’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be scared even as our leader. Leaders make decisions in face of and despite that fear. Using it to calculate risk and reward. Being scared for their team. That makes leaders great.” Shiro shook his head, wanted to tell Lance that he let his fear consume him when Lance laughed. 

“Let me stop you right there, my man. I’m not done yet.” Lance’s grin pulling Shiro from the well he’d begun to drown in, drawing Shiro into his chest. Shiro wanted so desperately to listen to him. To believe what Lance was saying. “It’s okay to give in sometimes. Being a leader doesn’t mean not having and not indulging those fears. Embracing and letting those feelings happen from time to time helps you let them go and helps you cope with them. That’s when you should lean on us. Let us help you.” 

Shiro sat in silence. 

“Shiro let me help you.”

A deep breath. Shaking, teetering on the edge of something. 

Ice splintering as it began to crumble. 

“Lance, I’m so scared,” he sobbed. Lance just nodded, holding him close. Accepting Shiro’s weight as the man slumped against him. “I feel so guilty.”

Lance’s fingers played with Shiro’s, his voice low and filled with comfort.

“I know.” 

***

 

“Shiro, trust me I can handle it! Take Keith! Get out of here!”

_Trust me._

Shiro hesitated, Keith slung over one shoulder as he and Lance stared at each other. Alarms blared, red flashing warnings over the cool metal walls and floors. 

The mission had been relatively successful. The base they’d infiltrated had been essentially disabled when Coran had pinged them. A human was aboard. Older. 

“Dad,” Pidge had murmured, voice barely audible over the sound of lasers and a hit that obviously rocked the green lion. 

Most of the prisoners were already in the blue lion--her being the most open of the three aboard. But Mr. Holt was further in. The alarms had beaten them to the punch. They had tried to push forward, but a nasty shot to Keith and waves of sentries left them near exhaustion as they moved to retreat. They had come out on top, but Sam Holt was still _further in._ Shiro’s blood pounded in his veins. Feeling helpless was really getting old, but even he knew that trying to move forward was not an option for him or for Keith. So that left Lance.

“I’m not usually close combat so I’m not as physically exhausted as either of you. Shiro, listen to me. You know I’m right.” Lance was frank, smiling as if he took joy in being right about this. Took joy in knowing that he was doing something so _dangerous._

“Lance, I can’t allow yo--.”

“Pidge’s dad is here somewhere. He’s here and we can’t leave him behind but Keith is injured and I’m not strong enough to carry him.” The words reminded him of the weight he bore. Keith’s body limp and heavy. “We can’t leave him either. Shiro, please go. Don’t worry I’ll get all those prisoners out of here.” Lance’s eyes were frantic, his feet already shuffling, taking him down deeper into the hallway of screaming sirens and sentry footsteps. “C’mon, I got this. Have a little faith in your sharpshooter! I’ll take’m all down before they even know I’m here.” 

Lance was running now, moving further out of Shiro’s reach. If they didn’t have comms on, Shiro wouldn’t have been able to hear him from this distance. _No. No don’t leave. Let me stay with you._ “Shiro! Go!” Lance’s face turned, leaving Shiro to stare at his back. Biting his lip, Shiro shook his head. _Trust him._ He took off toward the black lion. The sound of his footsteps changing as smooth Galra floors made way to the Black lion’s ramp. He hauled Keith into the cockpit with him, laying him down on the floor as he initiated launch. It took one cursory look to see Red taking off, pilotless, as he sped back to the castle. Only a handful of ticks and both lions soared through the cover Pidge and Hunk provided.

Shiro would get Keith to a pod. Keith would heal. Lance would be okay. Sam Holt would be with him. The prisoners would all escape. Upon landing, Shiro immediately disembarked with Keith, sprinting to the infirmary and unceremoniously shoving him into a pod Coran had prepared ahead of time. 

Shiro took in a deep breath, hovering in front of Keith’s floating figure. He sighed, he was the first to vouch for Keith’s skills, but as time went it on, it was starting to become clear that Keith was struggling with something. Responsibility maybe? Desperation for answers? The overwhelming urge to take on every challenge alone? _If only Lance were here. Maybe he could talk to Keith. Their bickering helps him burn energy._ Shiro blinked away the thought that maybe Lance wouldn’t return with a fierce scowl. 

Lance was going to come back. When he did, Shiro would suggest that they talk. Keith didn’t deserve that weight. And now that Shiro was beginning to learn how it felt to shed some of it, he wanted the same for Keith. But the others weren’t back yet.

Lance wasn’t back yet.

“Booyah! Blue’s out--we’re all headed back to the castle for a jump!” Hunk whooped, the sound startling Shiro out of his thoughts. Coran, who had been staring at a monitor Shiro couldn’t read jumped to his feet. 

“Allura must be getting ready, but I’ll have to head to the blue lion’s hangar! Can’t leave all those hostages unattended to!” He chirped, taking off and out of the room as Pidge’s voice fed directly from the cockpit and boomed through the castle speakers.

“Lance! Is my dad there? Did you get him? Was it him?” Her voice laced with excitement that painted the moments of silence that followed. “Lance?” The charged silence quickly turning into dread. 

“Lance. C’mon, man, this isn’t funny, dude! Is Mr. Holt with you or not?” Hunk asked. “Lance? Hey, come in, Lance” Hunk’s voice rose, pitch matching the panic undoubtedly building in his chest. Oh my god, Lance, please answer me.” 

“The blue lion is approaching the hangar, he might just have lost communications. We’ll all meet there. Shiro, stay with Keith, I don’t want him to wake up alone,” Allura said firmly, her voice echoing around the castle walls. 

The dread continued to climb, the mental image of Lance running off replaying in Shiro’s head as he mumbled an affirmative into his own headset, the noise echoing overhead. 

“Blue lion has landed! Yellow lion landing, and Green coming in last. We are starting disembarkment!” Coran’s cheer wavered a bit as he began to greet those climbing out of the ship. Instructions on how to get to the infirmary mixed in with general words of comfort when “Ah, you must be the esteemed Samuel Holt. I’ve heard so much about you.” The response was too far away to properly register over the comms, but it was enough.

The sound Pidge made was a cross between a sob and laughter. “Tell him that someone’s gonna be excited to see him once I get over to that hangar,” she said, voice cracking.

“Will do,” Coran replied tenderly. Obviously pleased when he clapped his hands. “Now for our fancy blue boy, come on out here, Lance!”

“There’s no one else.” A comment made by someone who had climbed out of the ship. Muffled by their distance from Coran’s mic. Suddenly a familiar voice cut through the background. “Pardon me, are you talking about the blue-eyed young man?” 

Shiro recognized the voice. That was definitely Sam Holt speaking. Words coming out of his mouth with a finality Shiro couldn’t stand. 

“I didn’t quite catch his name, but he told me to go ahead. So I boarded the...lion ship. There was someone trying to prevent our escape and they were fighting, but before I could leave to help him, your Lance must have given the ship some kind of instruction. It took off and came here.” Mr. Holt’s voice kept cutting in and out. The silence of all those listening hiding the sheer panic seizing them all. 

“So, Lance is still on the Galra ship?”

_Trust me._

“Unfortunately so. He said that he had a plan.”

_Don’t leave me._

“A plan?”

_Lance always had something up his sleeve. But it didn’t always pan out._

“He must be a brave fighter, your Lance.”

_He is._

“Excuse me, are you saying that you didn’t recognize the man trying to block our exit?” Came a new voice, full of confusion. 

“Do you know who it was?” Coran demanded, all pretenses gone as he addressed the newcomer.

“Well, yes. That was Prince Lotor.”

“Who is Lotor?” Hunk yelled, voice frantic and deafening. “Where is Lance? We have to go back. I haven’t gotten out of Yellow yet. I’m going back.”

“Me too!” Pidge hollered, breathless from how she was clearly running back to her hangar. Shiro didn’t speak, he expected he’d sound about the same from how quickly he was sprinting to his own deployment platform when the comms crackled to life. 

“Whoa whoa! Hold up now! Where are you all going without me?” The voice was tired and raspy, but it was the most beautiful thing Shiro had ever heard. 

_Lance_

The ice shattered. Crashing around him and falling like stones as Lance laughed, breathily in his ear.

“I thought we’d lost you,” Shiro whispered.

“Never,” Lance drawled. “Sorry! Some weird signal blocker was cutting me off. But not to worry, your brave blue paladin has returned!” If Shiro hadn’t been begun to watch Lance--started paying attention to the way he spoke and the way he moved, he would’ve thought nothing of it. But now he couldn’t help but focus on the tiny gasps of breath. The heavy swallows. The tiny inconsistency in Lance’s voice. Apparently Hunk hadn’t missed it either. Of course he didn’t. 

“Lance...are you hurt?” Hunk asked. They all waited with baited breath, Shiro standing in the middle of the hallway stretching between the infirmary and the hangars. Still. 

“Eh, no biggie. Nothing to see here, folks! Except...Maybe you’ll want to clear the landing area because this baby is going a little too fast and I do _not_ know how to stop Galra cruisers!” And after some muffled screaming filtered through Coran’s mic, a mighty crash shook the castle. “Alright, Coran! Get the doors! Princess, we gotta pump it. Lobster is not a happy man right now!” 

“Lobster?” Allura asked, “if you fought who I think you fought, his name was Lotor.”

“Lotor, lobster, same difference! Point is that we have to book it out of here!” He yelped.

“Lance, what did you do?” Hunk shouted, desperate and a little exasperated.

“Hey, man! I just shot my way through an entire squadron of Galra and hopped into the nearest cruiser! We don’t have time to get into the nitty gritty! We need out! Now! ” Lance said, voice bordering panic. 

“Fine! Coran! Make sure all hangars are closed! I’m going to make a jump in 30 ticks!” Allura said, command rolling smoothly off of her tongue. 

“Roger that, Princess!” Coran confirmed. Shiro could practically hear the man bustle around the hangar, when finally “we’re clear!”

The castle lurched.

“Lance, my bo--quiznak! Lance! Someone, help me carry him to the infirmary!”

Shiro dashed forward with Coran’s voice ringing in his ears, stomach clenching as he sped toward the hangars. He ran into Lance’s entourage halfway. A lumbering alien had Lance hauled over his shoulder, holding his prone form indelicately as he plowed down the hallway. Shiro hurried over to him. “I can take him!” The alien grunted, lowering him into Shiro’s arms. Lance was light, eyes blearily searching his face.

“Oh hey, it’s big, buff, and beautiful! How’re you doing?” He smirked, hand tiredly coming up to pat against Shiro’s face. He smacked around haphazardly at first before firmly pushing against Shiro’s helmet off to get closer. Shiro couldn’t help but smile, leaning into the fleeting touch when he noticed the blood seeping through Lance’s uniform. The warmth of the stain chilling Shiro to his core. 

“Lance what happened to you?” He whispered, jogging to the infirmary where he asked one of the freed prisoners to help him. Luckily one of them had experience with similar technology and began preparing a pod for him as he waited for Lance to respond.

“Eh, you know. Your typical good guy bad guy encounter,” Lance shrugged, arm now resting on Shiro’s shoulder. Shiro’s mouth twisted. He should’ve been there. Lance seemed to pick up on his frustration and made a disgruntled noise, startling him. “Hey, it’s all good. He just said a bunch of lofty evil man things and I shot him in the leg before running to the nearest pod. Light cut. No worries!”

“So many worries, Lance,” Shiro sighed, voice low. Biting his lip as he took in Lance’s paling face and pressed lightly on the wound. There was a cut in the shirt and the flesh underneath was obviously torn. “Lance, were you stabbed?” 

“Stabbed...light cut...you know. All the same!” Lance tried to brush it off, whispering as not to alert anyone around them. _You’re not okay._

“No. No, Lance it’s not.” _You said you’d be okay. You keep saying you’re okay._

“Well, can we pretend it is right now? I don’t want anyone to freak out. Just stick me in a pod and I’ll be in and out, good as new.” They both looked to the alien over Shiro’s shoulder. They were typing in a sequence, rather slowly if they were honest, before it looked up at them and jerked their head toward the pod nearest them. 

“Stick him in there!” They said, speaking as urgently as they could with their rather lethargic voice. 

“Hey, wait I didn’t get to ask. Is Keith okay?” Lance asked, eyes wide with curiosity and worry. Shiro let out a deep breath--it was almost surreal. Lance asking about someone else who had already been given care when he had been literally cut by a sword.

“Yeah, he’s fine. Now it’s your turn to get better,” Shiro replied firmly. Lance shot him a wink.

“I’ll be back before you even know it!”

And the door slid shut.

Hunk and Pidge hurtled in through the door with Coran hot on their heels. All three of them taking in the sight of Keith and Lance bobbing in their respective containers. The blue glow shining sullenly on them all.

“And now we wait.”

***  
The team was anxious, moving steadily between the two paladins. Pacing feet and short answers to long questions breaking the silence as they tried to juggle their guests and the lingering concern for their teammates. 

Pidge’s father stood next to them, not really saying much beyond greeting them all. He’d shot Shiro a warm and familiar hello before shaking his hand. The otherness of it not even registering on the researcher’s face. Since then he’d stayed by Pidge’s side, murmuring to her and making her laugh softly before she sobered up. Hunk had wandered over to chat with the man as well, warming the pair’s countenances with his presence. Allura and Coran had taken to trying to sort out the escapees. The Alteans were as diplomatic as they had always been. Their words and movements deliberate and smooth, though the pair clearly wanted to be with the rest of their team. 

Eventually the questions died down, and conversations began to lull. Shiro stood, still wondering to himself if he’d ever been this aware of the happenings of the team around him. The silence left behind by their usually bickering friends. Keith was Shiro’s closest friend. Lance though, Lance was...something else. 

Shiro decided that now was not the time to figure out just what that something else was.

Keith woke up first. Immediately upon exiting the pod, he stumbled into Allura’s grasp, leaning heavily on her. He pulled away as he gained his footing, trying to take in everything around him. “Hey, did we make it?”

“Yeah we did,” Hunk said, smiling tensely as Keith stretched. His eyes narrowed. “Where’s Lance?”

“Ah, well, about that,” Allura said softly. “He’s...still healing.” 

“What? Why? What happened after I passed out?” Keith asked, looking to Shiro for answers, obviously checking him for injuries as well. “Are you guys all okay? Pidge? Hunk?” 

“Yeah, we’re fine. It looks like Lance ran into a bit of trouble…” Pidge trailed off, looking to the side. Shiro patted her shoulder gently. He knew she felt guilty, but it wasn’t her fault. 

It was no one’s fault. _Lance made the decision himself._ He had to remember that. He’d told the rest of the team it was so.

Shiro stepped forward, pulling Keith into a hug before letting him go, gesturing to the other active tube. “After you went down Lance offered to keep going. I brought you back here and got you all set up. I’m glad you’re okay.” Shiro said. “He was worried about you, you know.” Keith pulled a face at that. 

“Why did he keep going? Wait, we hadn’t gotten there yet--” He looked around at them all, wide eyed at his realization.

“We couldn’t leave Mr. Holt behind, could we?” Shiro joked lightly. 

Keith smiled, relief spreading over his features. “So it was your dad.” Pidge let out a deep breath before peering up at him.

“Yeah...do you wanna meet him?” She asked sheepishly, lighting up when Keith nodded hesitantly. Shiro patted Keith’s arm, lending him some necessary strength. Keith shot him a grateful look and nodded more firmly. Pidge smiled, guiding him over to where her father was standing, hovering on the edge of the room to graciously give them space. Other freed prisoners meandered about the space awkwardly before Allura addressed them and escorted the grand majority of them to the kitchen for a quick meal. Coran stayed behind, watching over Lance’s vitals quietly. 

Shiro paused, eyes taking in his teammates. Hunk had come to stand next to Coran, muttering to him quietly as they both stared at Lance. Shiro walked up to them. “How’s he doing?” He asked. Every ounce of him fighting to avoid betraying his struggle to stay calm. 

Coran didn’t turn to look at him, too focused on toggling several readings in what Shiro assumed was an attempt to get a clearer view of the issues at hand. Hunk shrugged when they made eye contact. Cheek pinched in sympathy as he lightly nudged the mechanic. 

“What’s that now?” He sounded confused. He’d obviously been too focused to hear what they’d said to him 

“How’s he doing, Coran?” Shiro’s bare skin welcomed with the wind and rain as he waited for an answer. Accepting the hurt of caring for another in a way that he couldn’t quite find it in himself to express. _Please tell me he’ll be okay._

“Oh, Lance? He’s recovering well. Though I will say that he will need a stern talking to after this is all over. This is...not uncommon behaviour for a blue paladin. I’d hoped that the time you’d been spending together would help.” Coran’s eyes darted to him before he looked fondly over Lance’s sleeping form. “For both of you.” 

Shiro hadn’t noticed when Hunk had left them. The Yellow paladin’s awareness of their conversation giving the older pair a chance to try to understand each other in silence. The others continued to move around them, Hunk lingering as Pidge, Mr. Holt, and Keith went to meet Allura in the dining room for some much needed food. 

“Hey, Shiro,” Hunk spoke up from where he stood, a little away from the two senior members in the room. Shiro jerked, not expecting Hunk to address him and walked over to stand with him. They both peered up at Lance’s face. Shiro’s heart fluttered in his chest when he turned to look at the yellow paladin.

“Yes?” There was a pregnant pause as Hunk seemed to mull over words in his head. Suddenly, Shiro felt Hunk’s arms around him. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Shiro asked--caught off guard but not opposed to the affection. Lance was right, Hunk’s arms were huge. “I-I haven’t done anything.” Despite how Lance had made him feel it was still hard for Shiro to truly resolve what the team thought about him. Especially Hunk, who he was friendly with, but had never taken the time to bond with. He couldn’t fathom what Hunk could possibly have to thank him for. 

Hunk seemed to read him, releasing him and laughing heartily despite his obvious anxiety. Coran coughed at that. Hunk and Shiro sharing a knowing look as they turned to include Coran in the conversation before Hunk spoke again. “Shiro, you really gotta give yourself more credit, man. You’ve done a lot for us. You’ve lead us despite being as out of place as the rest of us.” Hunk fidgeted, hands twisting as he made eye contact with Shiro. “You’ve taken on this mantle, and you felt...unapproachable. Those of us who didn’t know you before--” Shiro looked away and Hunk let him. “Well, you had a lot on your plate and it’s completely understandable that you’d rely on who you knew you could trust.” 

A silence followed but Shiro could hear a _but_. So he held onto it preciously. Greedily. Hunk took in a deep breath, the sound echoing through the small room. Shiro looked back at Coran who did not even try to hide that he was watching them closely.

“But you’ve done a great job,” Coran supplied for him. “I’ve seen leaders with years and royal training behind them who did not have the mindset and determination that you do. You have surprised me. Impressed me as I never expected anyone could; much less a human.” He winked.

“You’ve been good to us. Trying to work with us as a team. Keeping us together. I want to get to know you more Shiro, and Lance has for a long time. Longer than I think any of us really knows.” “I’ve noticed.” Hunk said finally. “Noticed you opening up a bit. Allowing us to do more. Asking us to help you with things you would otherwise finish on your own at the expense of sleep.”

Shiro froze. So everyone had been concerned. 

“Hey, man. I’m not trying to make you feel bad! It’s all good. I’m just really glad that you’re...I don’t know. Opening up and relying on us more. It means a lot.” Hunk’s smile warmed Shiro in the cockles of his heart. Hunk had that effect he supposed. He really could do with more of that. 

“Thank you, Hunk.”

“No problem. Now c’mere, both of you.” Hunk demanded, opening his arms. Shiro walking in as Coran bustled over to where they were standing. Hunk pulled them into a hug, Shiro feeling warm as they embraced him.

The quiet was interrupted by the sound of Lance’s pod opening. Shiro hurried forward, accepting Lance’s weight as it rested against him. Holding him close felt...strangely warm, considering Lance had literally just come out of the cryopod. But now wasn’t the time. 

“Hey, Lance, you with me?” Shiro ventured, trying to catch Lance’s gaze as his eyelids fluttered open.

“Yeah, I’m always with you. I couldn’t stay away if I tried.” The outlandish flirtation catching Shiro off guard when Hunk swooped in to grab Lance’s face, checking him from every angle. 

“You look like you’re good,” Hunk nodded decisively before pulling back and punching Lance solidly on the arm. “Now, don’t you dare just run off by yourself again! Attacking solo is for Keith, not you! He’s got Galra instincts! He’s literally trained himself to survive and we all know that we have to watch out for him with this hero business! He’s got a sword _and_ a knife! You’ve got a quiznacking long range _gun_." He slumped, shooting Lance a pleading look. “Lance, I know that you did the right thing. I know that you saved Pidge’s dad. But you should’ve jumped into Blue with him and you know it. But you didn’t because you wanted to buy them more time. Wanted to buy more time at the expense of your _life_.” Hunk sniffled, words pouring out of his mouth a million miles a minute. 

And just like that, Hunk spoke for him. Clumsily articulating the churning in Shiro’s stomach as he watched Lance’s expression soften, though Shiro saw something else underneath. Something sharper. Cold and digging into Lance’s chest. 

“Hey, Hunk. Dude, I’m here! No worries! I’ll be more careful next time. I’m okay,” Lance said, moving to bring Hunk into a hug, wincing when the move pulled at the tender flesh in his side. Hunk sobbed into his shoulder before sucking in a deep breath.

“God, you scared me, man. But I feel better now. You want some food or are you gonna head straight to bed?” Hunk shook his head before heading toward the door. Suitably satisfied that Lance was alive and well. 

“Probably gonna go hit the hay,” Lance shrugged. Hunk nodded before wishing them all goodnight and walking off. Coran came up next to him, settling a hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Young man, you’ll likely need some nutrition to help yourself heal.” Coran’s look was almost like that of a father holding his son over some hot coals to figure out whether he’d taken the car for a joy ride or not. 

Lance groaned. “Can’t I get some when I wake up? I’m tired.” He made a show of slouching against Shiro, falling away from Coran’s arm into Shiro’s reactionary embrace. “I’m comfy here, I don’t wanna go.”

Shiro bit his lip and willed away the blush he knew was climbing up his neck. Keith always gave him shit for that. 

“You can go to bed if Shiro here doesn’t mind bringing you something. Is that okay with you, Shiro?” If Coran’s eyebrow went any further into his hairline, there’d be no saving it. 

“I don’t mind. I’ll stop by your room after I’ve gotten you some.” He found himself saying, too eager to remind himself that Lance was alive and well. Lance seemed to deem this appropriate and nodded. His eyes crinkled in the corners as he shot Shiro a mega watt smile. 

“Thanks. See you there?”

“Yeah.”

***

Evading conversation with curious newly freed life forms was more difficult than Shiro had anticipated. After explaining his goal to the rest of the team, they’d managed to help him get in and out of the eating area with food and little trouble, which he was incredibly grateful for.

He took a moment to collect himself outside of Lance’s room. Shiro wasn’t sure if something was going to happen. If something was _supposed_ to even happen. But it felt like it. Like there was going to be a shift of some kind. 

The door opened automatically with a wave of his hand. Lance looked up at him from the bed, newly showered and face mask already applied. Good to know he was already getting back into the swing of things.

“Not goo?” Lance asked hopefully.

“Goo.” Shiro answered blandly. 

“Quiznack,” Lance muttered, moving back into the bathroom to take off his face mask and slip into pajamas. When he stepped out, he looked at Shiro pleadingly, but accepted the bowl nonetheless. Shiro awkwardly shuffled between standing and half sitting next to him--his thoughts going a mile a minute. Lance chuckled, “you know I don’t bite, right? Unless you want me to, that is.”

“Lance,” the exaggerated groan at the overused line spilled over his lips before he could stop it. There was a pause when Lance started laughing. Beyond normal laughter. He was in borderline hysterics and Shiro couldn’t quite put a finger on what it was that Lance seemed to find so funny. But within the next breath, Lance had already settled down, collapsing back onto the bed as he lazily shoveled goo into his mouth. 

“Thanks for the food, Shiro.” Lance said through a mouthful of ill textured mush. 

“No problem...are you sure you’re okay?” Shiro waited for a response. When he didn’t get one he plowed forward. “Lance, what you did back there was brave. Stupid, but bra--”

“I know I’m not Keith, Shiro. I’ll try to remember that for next time.” Lance snapped, stabbing his spoon into the remainder of his meal and setting it aside. “I’m good now, you don’t have to stay.”

“I want to stay with you.” Shiro blurted out, as if this declaration was the most urgent message he needed to convey to Lance in this moment. “You--you didn’t let me finish. It was stupid and brave but most of all, Lance, it wasn’t fair of you to not go with the prisoners.”

“Wasn’t fair?” Lance squawked. “Lotor was there and it was them or me so I made the obvious decision.”

“Don’t say that. Please never say that ever again.”

Awkwardness filled the space quickly, thick and smothering as Shiro tried to find words.

“Shiro I know that what I did was dangerous, but I can’t promise that something like that won’t come up and that I won’t make the same choice,” Lance said seriously. 

“I trust you, Lance. You’re smart and you notice things that not all of us do, but Lance...please.” Shiro reached out, touching Lance’s face through the ice that held him. “Lance, let me help you. Let us be your arms and your legs. Let us lift you up. Talk to me.”

Lance watched him, eyes searching for any semblance of reluctance in his eyes. Shiro tapped on the ice, waiting for it to crack. Reveling in the startled look on Lance face as he began to hear Shiro demanding that he leave his frozen casket. Shiro’s hand curved, cupping Lance’s face before tilting it toward him. He laid a soft kiss on Lance’s cheek before pulling away to read his reaction, begging him to open up like Lance had carefully gotten him to. 

Lance stared at him. Eyes wide and searching as he reached up to hold Shiro’s hand in his own. They stayed that way--trying to communicate without words. Clumsily, as they had not yet gotten so used to each other. Finally Lance looked away.

“I’m scared I’m not enough,” Lance whispered, curling into Shiro’s open arms. 

“You are more than enough. I was so scared when you went into the pod. I was so scared when you ran off. I was so scared you were going to leave me and that was the turning point.” Shiro murmured, heart pounding when Lance gave his chin a kiss of its own in return. He nuzzled into Lance’s hair. It was still slightly damp and stuck to his lips as he continued to brand his affection and intent into Lance’s scalp. “You are more than enough, Lance. You are everything I’ve never deserved but were always there anyway. I don’t know if I’m misreading this. Maybe I’m just screwing all of this up but...I would like to be there for you like you’ve been for me.” 

Lance’s face lit up like the sun reflected on the surface of the ocean. Shiro could feel the cracks get bigger, Lance’s body relaxing into him. Shiro would be patient. He would hold Lance when his fears threatened to consume him, because now he knew what that meant and the relief it could bring. Realised that maybe this feeling--the warm desire to be at Lance’s side wasn’t so foreign between them after all. Lance leaned in, both of them cuddling together in Lance’s blankets.

“I’ve...I’ve liked you for a long time. And I don’t want you to feel obligated to return my feelings just because of this. I know I did something stupid and I know you could tell how I feel about you but this isn’t something I want to force you into.” Lance rushed through the words in one breath. 

Shiro chuckled. “So I’ve heard, Lance. And though I don’t have the experience you do, I have to say that I can understand how you feel. I want to get to know you. Get to learn about you and maybe selfishly learn things about you that no one else knows about.” Lance blushed, and Shiro marked it up as one of the prettiest sights he’d ever seen.

Lance snuggled into him and Shiro sighed. He couldn’t help himself, though, and chanced another small kiss to the top of Lance’s head before reaching out to turn off the light. They both settled under the sheets, confiding in each other and sharing their warmth.

They were both about asleep when Lance groaned. “Ugh, I didn’t brush my teeth and now I’m ruining the moment!” Shiro laughed. 

“I’ll go brush my teeth with you.” 

“Can we still cuddle after?”

“Of course not.” He joked.

“I knew it was too good to be true,” Lance smirked.

Shiro allowed himself one more kiss to Lance’s cheek before they separated. He’d be patient. He would wait. Just as Lance had for him.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally so Nami would go the fuck to sleep--but it became a lot more.
> 
> If you'd fancy talking about SHANCE or Lance or just anything about Voltron--hmu on twitter @sugayiffer!


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